Love story.
Everyone likes love stories.
But not all love stories have a happy ending.
Let me tell you about a story in a fictional format so that you can connect with the rest of the blog.
Seema and Rahul.
Met in School.
Became friends.
Then Rahul proposed to her to be his girlfriend.
Seema said yes.
Luckily, they got into the same junior college. Their relationship continued.
But we all know that a certain point in life comes when loyalty, patience, and love are tested.
In their relationship, that point also came.
After junior college, they had to choose career paths.
Rahul wants to become a doctor.
On the other hand, Seema wanted to perceive art.
Somehow, they agreed, and both applied to their respective choices.
Now, it’s time to go to college. Both have been accepted into different colleges. And conflicts between them are about to start.
Somehow, Rahul started to act differently. He started to avoid Seema’s calls and hangout with college friends.
Soon, he started dating another girl in college and lied to Seema that they are just friends.
One day, Seema went to his flat to surprise him, but instead she got surprised as she found out that he was cheating on her.
She was heartbroken. She didn’t know what to say. She left without saying a single word.
Rahul didn’t even bother to come after her.
I wrote this fictional story to make my readers understand that regardless of how your love life started, if the ending is not good, this is not your story.
We all get hurt. And this is not the end of your life.
Breaking up with Someone you Love
I totally understand it hurts when you love someone wholeheartedly, and it comes to an end.
But you can’t do much about it.
If something comes to an end, it is better to accept that.
For instance, your love story was no less than any movie.
You saw each other.
Your eyes met and instantly fell for each other.
You felt that spark.
And that spark moment was enough to convince you that this person is my soulmate.
But things didn’t go the way you planned. And you guys had to break up.
Now, you are all alone, trying to overcome those feelings.
I know it hurts, it hurts badly, but you have to let it go. Let go of your emotions, your feelings, and with time, you’ll feel lighter.
Breaking up with a Narcissist
Again, let’s understand this with a fictional story.
Pooja and Sanjay.
Pooja was a self-obsessed person.
She always cared about herself; she always thought of her happiness.
When Sanjay was struggling to get a job, instead of supporting him, she used to fight with him for small small things, making his life miserable.
She used to fight with him for expensive gifts, traveling and what not. She never tried to understand his situation.
On the other hand, Sanjay was a mature person.
He wanted to make things work.
He asked her, “Pooja, I’ve got a job now, and after a few years, we will get married.”
She said, “I want a luxurious life, and with this job you can’t afford my expenses, it would be better if we broke up.”
This was the time he knew she was not the right person for him.
He ended a relationship with her. And that was actually a good decision.
Besides this fictional story, I know people who had self-obsessed partners. Except for them, anyone could see that they are dating red flags.
If you are dating a narcissist, please break up with that person. At the end, you are the one who has to face the consequences.
If you are hoping that those types of people will change, you are highly mistaken.
There are chances he or she may get changed, but in extremely rare cases. So don’t waste your time.
Severe Depression After Breakup
Depression and anxiety are common after a breakup.
If you are not feeling those emotions, you are not human.
To completely get over the breakup, you should feel all these emotions.
There are many ways to get rid of depression.
Depending on the bond you shared in a relationship, the depression level may vary.
But whatever it is, there are many ways through which you can come out of depression and become the person you used to be before coming into a relationship or maybe better than that.
How do you Deal with a Heartbreak?
It’s really important you deal with your breakup in the right way.
You should try to heal naturally. Never ever drink, smoke or get addicted to something that will destroy your life.
I saw many people make excuses for heartbreak and end up becoming alcoholics, drugist, and whatnot.
By smoking or drinking, do you really think you can heal your wounds?
Of course not. So don’t do that.
You may feel good for the time being, but after that, it will worsen the situation.
Believe in yourself. Believe in the Universe. You’ll attract the right person in your life.
Tips for Getting Over a Breakup
Understand What you Feel
You should be honest about your feelings. You should know exactly what type of emotions you are experiencing.
According to the emotions you are going through, you can find the solution.
Don’t lie to yourself. If possible, journal down your emotions. Write it the way you are feeling.
If you are not into writing, record your emotions. Say aloud whatever you are feeling, but just say it.
Accept What It Is
Don’t stalk your ex’s profile or try calling them or texting them.
Accept reality. They have gone, and they are not going to come back.
Even if they come back, it’s never gonna be the same. You broke up because something was not right.
Take your Time
It will take time, and it should take time.
You can not magically forget the person with whom you planned your entire life.
Things will take time, and you should be aware of that.
Depending on the bond you shared with that person, it may take six months or more than that.
Don’t be in Another Relationship Immediately
This is the biggest mistake people make after a breakup.
Never ever go into another relationship just after a breakup. Take at least 6 to 12 months before seeing another person.
Take your time, understand yourself, talk to yourself and know what passion you had before coming into the relationship, and have you achieved that?
Most of the time, after coming into a relationship, people forget their true selves.
Discover your true self.
Block the Person from Everywhere
Never ever stalk your ex.
What happened has happened, and that was past.
By stalking your ex, you are making things worse. It is better to block that person from everywhere.
Tell me, what would you achieve by stalking him?
Nothing. You will feel miserable. It is better to let that person live his life, and you live yours.
Throw His/Her Gifts Away
Your room might be full of your ex’s gifts.
It is better to throw them away or give them to the people who can benefit from them.
It is always advisable to keep those gifts away from your eyes. If you are not ready to throw them away, at least keep them away from your eyesight.
Start Exercising
Trust me, exercising will help you a lot.
After a breakup, you might not want to leave your bed, scrolling your phone continuously, but this is when you have to push yourself harder.
Wake up from your bed, move your body. Walk, jog, gym, yoga or whatever you prefer, but starting is important.
While exercising, listening to music or motivational audio can be helpful. If you are listening to music, ensure it is not romantic.
Start Hobby
Whenever I feel low, I either start reading, writing, cooking, cleaning, walking, dancing, or drawing.
I won’t say I’m perfect at doing all these things.
But doing what I like makes me feel alive.
So think about the hobby you like your time spending on. When you work on it, you forget to check time.
Increase your Social Circle
How many friends do you have?
I’m not talking about your Facebook friends and Instagram followers.
You should have friends whom you can count on.
Trust me, call your friend you used to hangout with before coming into the relationship.
You might be having 2 or 3 close friends whom you can rely on.
I believe in small circles, but the people whom I can count on. I have almost 5 close friends, and I can totally say that those are my personal emergency contacts.
Whenever I feel low, the first thing I do is call them.
The good thing is they listen and don’t judge me.
Stop being in Delulu
See, it’s good to imagine that the person will come back and say sorry and things will get back to normal.
But to whom are you kidding?
Do you really think that person will come back to you?
If he truly loved you, he or she wouldn’t have left in the first place.
So stop imagining something that would never happen.
Finding Yourself After a Breakup
Let me start this with my real story.
I have never been in a relationship, but I did have a huge crush on one guy and was extremely serious about that person.
I was not sure how to control those emotions, how to control myself, totally confused.
I remember I used to share my feelings with my friends, but they were also in their teenage years. They also didn’t know what to advise.
They are like, go for it, confess your feelings and blah blah.
But one day I found out that he already has a girlfriend.
I was completely shocked, devastated, feeling betrayed, broken and all the painful emotions.
That was a day when I didn’t get a single thought. I was completely blank and clueless.
The next day, I decided to face the situation because not going to college was not an option.
Fast forward, and I realised it was for a good reason. He never meant for me and he was not the right person for me.
It took me a year to understand that, and later on, I started focusing on my goals and spending more time with my friends.
However, to completely overcome that person took me a longer time, though he was just my crush.
Here, I couldn’t share the complete story, for that I have to write a book.
Realisation
But here comes the realisation.
In the process of liking someone, we should never forget who we truly are.
Life happens, heartbreak happens, but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of your life.
You will find a better partner, but to attract that kind of partner, you have to understand yourself.
So work on yourself in the first place.
